Seeking Approval

I have a dear friend and family member who is currently pregnant with her ninth child. It is something many people don't understand, and even those that do understand are often surprised by the fact simply because it is so uncommon in our culture today to have more than a set number of children. I know that her and her family get a lot of remarks, comments, stares, and judgement because of the way they are choosing to live their lives. Many people find it is irresponsible and foolish. Others simply find it something to make jokes about and laugh at. And then there are those that think, "Well, whatever works for them. It certainly isn't for me." Well, it is overwhelming, this idea of being fully committed to the openness of life, continually sacrificing your body and time for the sake of another soul to know Christ and His love, and welcoming any child that God may choose to give them. Who on earth would sign up for all this? Why would Jesus ask all that of her? Is she crazy?

I have another close friend who is soon entering religious life. She will be giving away all her possessions, quitting her job, leaving her friends and all that is familiar to her, and moving to a place where she will be living solely for the Lord in lowliness and humbleness. She is giving up many--if not all--modern day comforts: no computer, phone, or iPod, very few desserts and no snacking, a limited and stern dress code, very little traveling to visit family and friends, no car, a set meal plan (no more satisfying that sweet tooth or pizza craving), no sleeping in or taking a day off and watching movies all day. And that's just the beginning of a slew of other things she will be giving up or going without. She will be fully committing her life to prayer, fasting, and service. A lot of people don't understand. Some find the idea of giving up all their things pointless and too difficult to comprehend as these things have worked their way into becoming necessities in their lives. I can hardly stay off my phone for a few hours, never mind giving it up completely. And then the thought of moving away from all that is familiar and comfortable, all by yourself, is pretty daunting. Who on earth would sign up for all this? Why would Jesus ask all that of her? Is she crazy? 

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."

~Galatians 1:10~ 

You know, these women sure as heck aren't looking for the approval of man. If they were, I suspect they would have made some different decisions along the way. No, they must be on to something different. If they were looking to others to gain confidence in their vocations and reassurance in their identity, they would be left totally insecure and in a serious identity crisis. But they aren't. They aren't looking for reassurance from others that they are making the right decisions and on the right path. They aren't building their confidence and self esteem by the standards of the world and of our culture. They aren't trying to please human beings; they are trying to please God. 

I look at my husband. I am so thankful for him. In my eyes he is so heroic. He has an amazing brain and he could go on to do so many things that people would just be in awe over. He could go on to make a lot of money in his field and make his name known in the world. But he isn't fooled. He knows those things aren't what God is asking of him. He knows that all those things come at a cost that he isn't willing to pay. To name a few: the cost of time with family and friends; the cost of peace; the cost of leading a moral and virtuous life; the cost of growing closer to Christ. The cost of pleasing God by instead seeking to please man.

Too often I find myself lacking in confidence and feeling worthless because I have been seeking to be comforted by others and not by God. I want reassurance that what I am doing matters. I want a big pat on the back from people telling me, "You've made all the right decisions! You're so smart and it's good that you're choosing to ______. All of your hard work and sacrifice is going to pay off soon!" Well, people don't often say these things to me. The sacrifices I make are not often noticed, at least not by the majority of the population. It can be a real struggle to be so committed in my pursuit to follow and please God that I don't care what others think. Yet, in that struggle I often lose focus of why I do what I do and who I do it for. I suppose that is exactly what Satan wants, too, because the moment I start to care more about what others think than about what God thinks, who am I really serving? 

To help us all stay focused on our mission of being a servant of Jesus Christ, we should frequently ask ourselves: Who are we trying to seek approval from? Where do we find our worth? What if the cost of having worth in the sight of man was to give up our identity in Christ? Would it be worth it? What am I willing to give up for Christ? Am I willing to be a fool in the sight of family, friends, and acquaintances? Am I willing to be misunderstood and made fun of, all for the sake of living the life that God has called me to? Who, what, and where do I find my confidence? Am I placing my hope and trust in Christ, or in this world? 

"Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, sensual lust, enticement for the eyes, and a pretentious life, is not from the Father but is from the world. Yet the world and its enticement are passing away. But whoever does the will of God remains forever."

~1 John 2:15-17~

“If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you."

~John 15:18-19~

What are we really here for? Who are we here to serve? Man or God? You can't serve both (Matthew 6:24). The ways of the world, the ways of man, are not the ways of God (James 4:4; Isaiah 55:8-9; 1 Corinthians 15:33; Psalm 40:4). Choose God. Seek His approval. Live for Him alone. In doing so you will store up treasures in Heaven and your reward will be that which is eternal and doesn't wither away (Matthew 6:19-21). 

Discovering God

Every day I am reminded how influential my role as a mom is. My daughter reminds me daily without even knowing it. I see her copying me in the tiniest and biggest of ways. I see it in the way she eats her breakfast just like me; in the way she cares for her animals and dolls by changing their diapers (imaginary diapers of course), putting them to bed, feeding them, and giving them a bath; in the way she treats her daddy and gives him hugs and kisses as he leaves for work each morning and looks to him to fix things; in the way she "helps" out around the house, trying to do as I do by sweeping and vacuuming the floor, wiping down the counters, and putting her dishes in the sink. This is all part of mothering a toddler. Her little mind is discovering what being a human is supposed to look like. She is discovering the world around her and how to interact with it. She is making connections about things that we adults hardly even notice anymore and drawing from them the beginning structures of her very own, unique belief system. She is interpreting every little thing we do, trying to make sense of it and find purpose in it.

When I take time and think about these things it can be very sobering. As a mom, what is my role in this process we call growing up? Am I supposed to step back and let her figure things out all on her own? Am I supposed to be there every second to explain every little thing that I do in a day? There are many theories and opinions out there on the topic, but what does God have to say about it? 

"Indeed, I have singled him out that he may direct his children and his household in the future to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord may put into effect for Abraham the promises he made about him."

~Genesis 18:19~

"Take to heart these words which I command you today. Keep repeating them to your children. Recite them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you get up."

~Deuteronomy 6:6-8~

"Train the young in the way they should go; even when old, they will not swerve from it."

~Proverbs 22:6~

"The rod of correction gives wisdom, but uncontrolled youths disgrace their mothers."

~Proverbs 29:15~

"Children, obey your parents [in the Lord], for this is right. 'Honor your father and your mother.' This is the first commandment with a promise, 'that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on earth.' Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up with the training and instruction of the Lord."

~Ephesians 6:1-4~

"Obey your leaders and defer to them, for they keep watch over you and will have to give an account, that they may fulfill their task with joy and not with sorrow, for that would be of no advantage to you."

~Hebrews 13:17~

In other words, yes we should most definitely be involved in instructing our children in the way of the Lord. We will even give an account for our task in providing instruction and example to our children because this role and gift that God has given us is so important (Heb 13:17)! Our role and influence is a big deal! 

As I've been contemplating all of this, it's made me question: What is my daughter discovering when she watches me and imitates me? My prayer and hope is that she is discovering God in me. I hope that my obedience to Him leads her to obedience to Him. My whole life, everything I do, should be for Jesus (Colossians 3:23). I pray that as she observes me and mimics my life, what starts as merely copying me will develop into a mature relationship with the Lord. 

We worry and think about so many things for our children. What will they be like? Will they be well-behaved and good-natured? Will they be smart, handsome, beautiful, talented, social, friendly, etc? What schools will they go to? What will they study? What will their jobs be? Will they be healthy? Will they have a lot of friends? What will people think of them? This isn't all bad, we are their parents and of course we should be concerned about some of these things, but as Christians, our biggest concern should be for their soul. Will they be in Heaven someday? We go to great lengths to do our part to make sure our children have the best start in life and will be successful in whatever it is they do...but what lengths will we go to so that they will know God and follow His commands? 

As mothers, we have a great opportunity to help our children discover God. He is so worth discovering after all. He is the reason for every good and perfect thing in and under Heaven. He is our salvation and our hope. I pray my daughter discovers Him personally from an early age and follows in His ways all the days of her life. That is why I make sacrifices to put her as a priority in my life and to spend time with her and explain things to her. That is why I pray with her and bring her to church with me. That is why we read the Bible at home and try our best to live by example. I don't know how much time I will have with her. It's too essential a task to put it off for later. She's discovering things about life now, not later. Do I want her to discover what our world and society deem important, or do I want her to discover Jesus and what He deems important? 

Lord, I pray she discovers you. Let her learn of your Truth and your ways, not those of the world. As she grows and matures, let it be according to your word and your will. Amen.

Do You Ever Feel Alone?

Alone. That's how I have been feeling this week. Alone in my Christian walk. Alone in my convictions. Alone in my struggles. Alone in my calling as a stay at home mother. Alone in my thoughts. Just so terribly lonely that it has left me feeling discouraged, hopeless, and burdened. It has also left me yearning for Heaven. I feel almost homesick for this place I have never been and can't even fully imagine in all its glory-the very Glory of God Himself. Yet I am here, stuck on this earth and in all of its imperfections. Every day I am reminded of the fallen nature of humankind. I see it in the news, in those around me, in myself. Sin and ungodliness reign. God seems difficult to find in the mess we've made for ourselves here. So many Christian brothers and sisters seem to be just as much a part of the world as the unbelievers. Godly values seem to be thrown to the side of the road and trampled on by the very people who profess Jesus as Lord and therefore should be living by those values and honoring them. Instead they live and preach a version of Christianity that fits their own belief system. I see all of this and it overwhelms me. It's unsettling and discouraging. It's hard to keep walking this road of Faith when it feels so lonely sometimes. It's hard to not want to be in Heaven where endless worship will be given the Holy One who is worthy of all honor and praise. 

Caught up in the emotions from the week, I was so happy to see Sunday come. A new day. The Lords day. I was craving the refreshing taste of community and worship. I prayed for Gods Spirit to rejuvenate and encourage me. Todays readings were perfect (Acts 15:1-2, 22-29; Psalm 67:2-3, 5-6, 8; Revelation 21:10-14, 22-23; John 14:23-29). The Gospel reading was especially refreshing. The Trinity is clearly expressed in the passage, the words are hope-filled and life-giving. We are to abide in His word and when we do that, the Lord comes and lives in us. He gives us Peace. Not like the peace of the world, but His Peace. We aren't to be troubled or afraid, Jesus is coming back for us; He will not leave us.

Wow, those words were exactly what I needed to hear. After Mass I met up for one of my final RCIA sessions. For an hour and a half I was able to be surrounded by fellow believers who share in this walk of Faith and let me just say that it was edifying and encouraging to say the least. It is so clear to me after days like today why believers need community and fellowship. We weren't created to survive alone. Christianity from its earliest beginnings was communal in almost every aspect of its roots. Jesus, in perfect unity with His Father and the Holy Spirit, died on a cross to bring us to Himself, which brings us into unity with the Trinity. This also brings us into unity with other believers. We are all partaking of the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, we are all gathered together and share, as one, in HIS body and HIS life. We are a family. 

It's so important to remember that, as Christians and believers in Christ, we aren't alone. Sin might reign in the world but it doesn't in us because He has overcome sin. He has forgiven us and washed us clean, and we are therefore risen with Him in His resurrection and Triumph. Though in the world, we aren't of the world. 

Jesus has given us an opportunity to get to know what Heaven is like before we even get there. Heaven is the Glory of God, the dwelling place of His Splendor. If we love Him and keep His word, He will dwell in us (John 14:23-29). He has made our bodies His temple (1 Corinthians 6:19)! Wow! It's amazing and it leaves me in awe of His goodness. If we choose to live and abide in His word, we can be partakers of His Heavenly Kingdom. I don't have to yearn for Heaven while feeling alone and hopeless in this world. I can yearn for Heaven and glimpse into its Glory while living here on the earth. I don't have to wait and worship God in Heaven, I can worship Him here. In fact, if I choose to wait to give Him the honor, glory, and praise due His name, why would I expect to be doing so in Heaven one day? Our life here should be a reflection of what is yet to come. Loneliness and despair is not what is to come for those who believe and trust in Jesus. I am not alone. If nothing else I always have the unity of the Trinity living and dwelling in me, but He has also given me a community of believers. It's such a gift. I am so thankful that He has shown these things to me and reminded me of His Truth when I needed it this week. I am so thankful that He loves us so much and has given us such hope and promise.