Praise God!

It's been a while since I've written here. So much has been going on, and while I've so often yearned to write and jot down learnings, thoughts, and memories, time and happenings haven't allowed for much of it lately.

Amaryn was born in September. Jason got a job at a local community college. He found out in December and started in January. We traveled to California to visit family for Christmas. Jason coached middle school basketball and made it to the semi-finals. I worked as a very part time hostess for three months in the middle of everything else. And now Jason is working hard finishing up his dissertation to (hopefully) graduate in May. He loves his new job, and truly it is a perfect fit for him and our family.

Then, kind of, sort of, out of the blue, we stumbled upon a house and we fell in love. A master bath, a deck over-looking a gorgeous large yard with a huge garden, a fire pit, and a small barn, two apple trees in the front yard, a beautiful kitchen with a breakfast nook, a nice location, and room to grow - what isn't there to like? The past three weeks we've been in the process of purchasing that house, kind of on a whim, kind of perfectly all falling into place. We finally signed the contract and everything was looking good as gold, and then we got a call this evening stating that the loan approval in fact isn't looking very promising. We don't know what will happen yet, but it got me thinking.

We went to stations of the cross tonight at the local parish. As I considered everything going on in light of Jesus and His sufferings, death, and resurrection, whether or not we get this house, I realize it just isn't as big of a deal as it so easily can seem like in our minds. There have been days of much anxiety as I pondered not getting the house and feeling like it was just too good a fit for our family to pass up. I felt like we had to get into that home. But as a Christian, this kind of thinking is very much contrary to what we should be feeling. You see, house or no house, it shouldn't affect my worship. It shouldn't affect my gratitude, affection, trust, hope, and joy in Christ. If it has that kind of impact on me, than I simply am not rooted in the truth and freedom of Jesus. I am not in control, and if I claim to trust in Him but show nothing of that trust in my actions or thoughts, than what does it matter? It means nothing if I don't show in my actions what I say with my mouth. I pray for His Will be done. Then why is it still my will that I try and impose on Him? Oh how backwards and unfaithful I can be sometimes.

It goes much further than that though. This home isn't my permanent home. It is a temporary place where permanent decisions are made, so while what happens here counts, the things that count are often not what we think. If this house or any other thing in my life is causing me to lose focus on what really matters in this life, then I need to do what it takes to refocus. You see, it isn't the house that matters, even if us living in that house is in line with God will for us, He cares much more about our souls. He cares much more about our daily commitment in putting HIM first in our lives, and OTHERS second, and ourselves last. He cares that we trust Him no matter what circumstances we are going through, whether they are good or bad. His blessings sometimes do fall on us in forms of a nice house, a great job, financial gain, and the like, but true blessing is found in the things that last. The things we can take with us after this life. Those are the blessings and graces we should be praying for and excited about. Often those blessings are found in the sacrifices and sufferings of this life. They are blessings in disguise, but their treasure is far more precious than any materialistic thing we could possess in this life.
I do hope to have a house one day. I hope that this house still works out. But it shouldn't be my focus. I can certainly be happy about it if it works out, but regardless, PRAISE GOD! He is SO GOOD and SO WORTHY to receive ALL of our worship. If we get the house, praise God! If we don't get the house, praise God! Whatever we do, praise God! He deserves all praise, all glory, all good. He is our Creator and Savior, it is the least we can do.

From Death To Life

This life is so short. Our bodies grow older everyday, and the moments that make up our lives slip by us no matter how much we try to savor them and hold on to them. I watch my little baby sleeping and know that she's going to grow up so quickly and there's nothing I can do about it. I try and remember what it feels like holding her and her fitting like a glove snuggled up next to my body. She won't be this little but for a short time. I wish it could last, but the reality is that it can't. We can't make the moments longer or shorter, they just are. Time continues to tick by whether we want it to or not. 

And each tick leads us inevitably closer to our death. And that's OK. I am not scared of death. My body will feel it, I know I will have to eventually go through that process, and it probably won't be a pleasant experience. But, in the midst of that, I find so much courage, hope, and peace knowing that Jesus will be right there with me, and through His mercy and unfailing love, by His grace and His blood, He will welcome me into His arms and my soul will be with its creator. What joy! I can't fathom it, but my soul yearns to be with Jesus, and until that day comes I will continue to do what He has asked of me while on this earth. To love Him and others, and to obey His commandments.

After Jesus' death, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb to anoint Jesus' body. Upon arriving and seeing the stone removed from the entrance to the tomb, two angels appeared to them and said "Why do you seek the living one among the dead? He is not here, but He has been raised." (Luke 24:5) I think this same response can be given to those here on earth mourning the death of a loved one who had faith in Christ while on this earth. As Christians, when we die, it is not our ultimate death. Actually, we really pass on to true, everlasting life. We have been raised with Christ into new life. So though our bodies will die, we will be among the living, not the dead. What a gift! It calls for rejoicing, not mourning.

I've been listening to a song that describes it well. It is called Holy (Wedding Day) by City Harmonic. I've included the lyrics below as well as the link to the song on YouTube.

Holy (Wedding Day): City Harmonic
This is the story of the Son of God
Hanging on the cross for me
But it ends with a bride and groom
And a wedding by a glassy sea
O death where is your sting
Cause I'll be there singing
Holy Holy Holy
Is the Lord

This is the story of a bride in white
Waiting on her wedding day
Anticipation welling up inside
While the groom is crowned as king
O death where is your sting
Cause we'll be there singing
Holy Holy Holy is the Lord

Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy
Is the Lord Almighty
Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy
Is the Lord Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
Who was and is and is to come

This is the story of the Son of God
Hanging on the cross for me
And it ends with a bride and groom
And a wedding by a glassy sea

This is the story of the a bride in white
Singing on her wedding day

Of the God who was and is to stand before a bride who sings
Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty

The Transforming, All-Powerful Love of Christ

Jesus loves you.

You've most likely heard it a million times. I know I have. Maybe you've believed it and felt His love in your life, through seasons of joy and seasons of trials. Or maybe you've wanted to believe it but struggled to find His love manifesting in your life, especially when the harsh realities of life left you feeling alone and anything but loved.

But He does love you, and this love is not like any other love we can find on this earth apart from Him. His love is selfless, perfect, and powerful. One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to not fully grasp and allow this love to do its work in us. It should transform us, perfect us, and equip us to live the abundant and Christ-like life that we are called to live.

Let's take a few moments and consider His love. It was selfless: it lead Him to the cross where He gave up His own life in order to save us from the death penalty of our sins and give us life with Him forever. It was perfect: Without considering Himself, He laid down His life for us while we were still sinners. His love is trustworthy, hope filled, never failing...it is perfect. His love is powerful: He didn't just die for us, He overcame death for us. Even the grave couldn't hold Him. His love is powerful enough to save Himself, and us, from the power of death.

His love saves us from death. Therefore, it can certainly save us from that which leads to death. His love is stronger than our addictions, our sins, our mistakes, our sicknesses, our imperfections, our failings, our brokenness. It's stronger than the attacks of Satan. His love is stronger than death and life; it is the giver of life.

If we aren't experiencing this love, we aren't experiencing the fullness of Christ in our lives. He is one with the Father, and the Father IS love (1 John 4:8). If you find that you are struggling with sin, pray. Pray that the love of Christ will transcend your sin and be washed away by the power brought forth through His blood. We alone are not stronger than sin, but He is, and by His death and resurrection He has given us power through Him to repent of our sins and live a life worthy of the calling we have received in Him (Ephesians 4:1). If you are struggling with addiction, bondage, disappointment, pain, regret, or hatred, know that His love is greater and allow God to work in you to rid you of these things. We aren't called to a life of bondage and slavery to sin-no, Jesus died so that we can be freed from that bondage and live with Him in righteousness. We are partakers of His death and resurrection and our lives should be reflections of that powerful truth (see Romans 6). 

And in that powerful truth, we can find comfort, peace, and joy because nothing can separate us from His love when we know how deep, how long, how wide the love of Christ is for us. For you. For me. 

"What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for us all, how will he not also give us everything else along with him? Who will bring a charge against God’s chosen ones? It is God who acquits us. Who will condemn? It is Christ [Jesus] who died, rather, was raised, who also is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. What will separate us from the love of Christ? Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we are being slain all the day;

we are looked upon as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

~Romans 8:31-39~

"...that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine, by the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." 

~Ephesians 3:17-21~