From Missouri to Colorado

The scenery these past few days has been majestic!! From the wide, open prairie to the grandeur of the Rocky Mountains, the view has been nothing short of amazing!

Day 5: Kansas City, MO to Goodland, KS:

Made masks in the car.

Grasslands.

Good ol' Kansas.

Loving the rustic charm of this country...the old trains, farms, silos, and windmills all bring you back to a time past.

Windmill farms.

A lot of windmill farms.

We left early from Kansas City to try and get though some bad weather before it worsened later in the day. We had about 6 1/2 hours of driving time, and we stopped for about 2-3 hours half way at Rolling Hills Zoo in Salina, Kansas. This place was pretty much in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the beauty of the vast grasslands. Jason and I agreed it was the best zoo we have been to. 

Flamingos.

Making friends.

There was even a playground.

With cool tunnels.

We saw a lot of cool animals. Some of our favorites were...

The rhinos.

And the lions.

And giraffes (especially Amaryn's favorite).

Camels.

Mountain lions.

And then somehow I ended up in the mountain lions food pen.

It was terrifying.

And Teá was there, too.

Just kidding...it was another cool tunnel.

And it didn't lead to mountain lion cages, just the monkey cages. Phew...

Like I said, coolest zoo ever.

The last leg of the drive, as beautiful as it was, was a bit of a stretch for everyone. And so, what would normally not be acceptable, all of the sudden becomes fun and games. Basically, whatever it takes to get there with at least somewhat happy people means almost anything goes. 

Even this.

We tossed all rules out the window and drove every bit of 75mph away from them for as far as the eye can see. 

And everyone is happy and having fun.

Don't worry, those were washable markers. And they totally loved it, and it was quiet for like, quite a few minutes. Score!

Goodland was a quiet, country town. It's claim to fame was a gigantic easel displaying a replica of a Van Gogh painting. 

Hmmm...okay.

The time zone changes, lack of sleep, and long days really wiped us out, so to bed at 6pm it was! 

Day 6: Goodland, KS to Keystone, CO:

What a change in scenery it was from the high plains of Kansas to the middle of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado! 

Sunflowers.

 From the plains...

To the city (Denver)...

To the start of the Rocky Mountains...

Denver in the distance.

Love.

Sidetracked a bit to see Buffalo Bills grave.

Further into the Rockies...

And, finally, in the middle of the Rockies, our stop for the night.

Dillon Lake.

Found a path, took a walk/jog.

Running buddies.

Didn't last long...we are at 9,000 ft after all! There's not a lot of oxygen up here!

But we are happy.

And found a cool park with lots of spinning devices. It was fun.

Tomorrow we head further west into the canyon lands of Utah! 

From Connecticut to Missouri

Our move from Connecticut to California has begun and we have already journeyed over 1400 miles and seen 8 states on our cross country road trip. 

Welcome to Massachusetts...goodbye Connecticut, until next time!

Now entering New York

Welcome to Pennsylvania

O-hi-o!

Driving into Indiana at dusk

Illinois

Missouri

Teá has only asked "Are we there yet" a handful of times. At one point she told me "Mom, this is the longest, longest, longest road I never seen! I mean, this is the longest, longest day I never seen!" She's a trooper. Overall, we are having a great time! Here is a quick summary of our travels thus far. 

Day 1: Willington, CT to Hamburg, NY (Buffalo area):

Amaryn took a morning nap while Teá colored a heart drawn by Audra and Anna.

Magnets were a great choice for road trip activities!

Vivi is so very happy when she's out of her car seat.

We loved the rolling hills and beautiful, old farms as we drove through upstate New York. It felt very rustic, country, and homey.

In Buffalo we visited a close friend of ours, Missy. Her and her godparents whom she lives with were such gracious hosts, serving us dinner and breakfast, treating Teá and Amaryn to horse rides, letting the girls play with their kittens, chase their chickens, stare at their fish, and watch their cats meander throughout the farm.  They welcomed the five of us into their home and treated us like family.  Their company was the best gift of all and we left feeling refreshed and blessed by all the people God has brought into our lives.

Missy and our crew.

Holding the kittens like such a big girl!

Amaryn got to hold the kittens, too!

Meet Felina the horse.

Teá was able to ride Felina, and Felina even trotted for her! 

Amaryn got to ride Felina, too!

Day 2: Hamburg, NY to Indianapolis, IN:

Watching out the window as the horses galloped in the backyard. 

Saying goodbye to the horses.

Saying goodbye to the kittens.

On the second day we learned that evening travel is NOT for us. It was a very long driving day and we had a lot of ground to cover. We decided it would be best to break in Dublin, OH to stretch our legs, walk around, go to Mass, and eat dinner. We left Dublin exhausted but still with 3 more hours of driving time to go. We finally reached Indianapolis, pulling in to the hotel at the delightful hour of 10pm and after four long hours of all three kids screaming and crying in the car. Despite our best efforts to keep Amaryn in her crib, she was adamant she should not be sleeping in the port-a-crib anymore. For the sake of our sanity and the hotel guests in near-by rooms, we let her sleep in the bed with Teá. Bed training is not exactly how we were hoping to spend the evenings, but hey, gotta do what ya gotta do.

Getting out all that pent up energy.

"Yay, I'm not in my carseat!"

Happily chillin' with Dad, content as long as she isn't strapped in her carseat. 

"Up."

Day 3: Indianapolis, IN to Kansas City, MO:

The third day of traveling was a little more challenging in that we were all pretty tired and the scenery was a little bland. We saw a lot of corn. And that was mostly it, although we did get to see the Mississippi River and the Missouri River, both of which were pretty cool.

The Mississippi River.

The Missouri River.

We also saw downtown St Louis off in the distance along with the Arch signifying the gateway to the west. I tried to get a photo...

Happily playing with stickers.  

We also got to see Kauffman Stadium (where the Royals play) while it was in use as we drove into Kansas City. Jason was pretty stoked about it and the view wasn't half bad from the interstate.

Kauffman Stadium.

We arrived in Kansas City and went to our friend Chrys’ home where we visited with her and our friend Leah and, much to Jason’s approval, we ate Chinese food for dinner.

Day 4: Kansas City

Today we took the day off from driving. It was both well deserved and needed. We went to the mall across the street from our hotel and let the kids play in the children's play area, went out to lunch at Olive Garden, went back to the hotel and swam in the pool (even I went swimming....ha, just kidding!), and then met Leah for dinner at Cracker Barrel. It was a fun yet restful day!

Riding on the carousel.

The carousel had a spinning tea cup kind of thing happening on it which Teá chose to sit on and loved it. 

Swimming. 

She can, just barely, touch the bottom! 

Amaryn kicking.

CHEESE!

Cutie.

Complete Abandon

This coming Easter I will celebrate two wonderful years since becoming a Catholic. My sponsor/godmother/dear friend told me that she would like to pay my way for me to go on a Catholic woman's retreat as a gift. The next retreat was the following September and was the exact weekend of my due date with Amaryn. It wasn't yet meant to be. Of course, the two scheduled retreats after that weren't meant to be either because of nursing and babyhood. These retreats are four days and three nights long, so not exactly mommy-to-a-nursing-baby friendly. 

I realized a couple of months ago that the upcoming retreat in March may actually work out for me to attend. It's not on my due date for starters (I'll be about 7 months along), I'm not nursing a baby and both girls can go without me for a few days, plus it's during Jason's Spring Break which is perfect. I know that very soon I'll have a newborn yet again and a retreat just won't be a possibility for a while. It just may be perfect timing. But isn't God's timing ALWAYS perfect?! Of course it is.

So...I've been eagerly awaiting this retreat for two years and finally I'm able to go and I'm anticipating it's arrival in three short weeks. Then the letter came. A supposedly innocent letter containing innocent information about the upcoming retreat. What to expect, where to park, where to meet-up the first night, what to bring, and what not to bring. And that's where it all came crashing down. It read:

"You will be on God's time for the weekend away from the outside world for a change, so we ask you to leave your cell phones, alarm clocks, computers, tablets, iPads, iPods, beepers, radios, etc. at home-even your watches!"

Leave my cell phone?! Wait, seriously? But what if there's an emergency? Oh, there's an emergency contact. But still. I need to check in with Jason. It's for 3 long nights...what about calling my kids and telling them goodnight? I've never been away from them for that long. That's an unfair and unreasonable request. I can't believe they would ask such a thing! It's hard enough to get away for 3 whole nights but that's not enough, now I need to leave behind all forms of communication as well?! I don't like this. This is crazy!! 

Yeah. So, that's been festering in my mind for the past week. This week I've found that I'm not so excited to go on the retreat. I'm actually quite unexcited about it. I'm apprehensive and uncertain, even untrusting all of the sudden. I feel defensive, angry, and resentful. My attitude and mood has done a 180* flip in regards to the retreat. 

So today I finally decided to pay some attention to these festering feelings. First off, my feelings in response to this letter weren't exactly godly. Clue number one that maybe I'm in the wrong here. As I took some time to pray, reflect, and write in my journal, the Holy Spirit began filling my mind with Truth from the Bible. The Gospels alone are filled with Jesus' calling men to give up everything and follow Him. This is of course true in His calling of the disciples. Jesus also tells a man to sell all he has and follow Him. He tells another who wants to first go and bury his father to let the dead bury themselves and follow Him. He tells us to pick up our crosses and follow Him. It's a common theme in the passages of the New Testament and it continues into our lives as Christians today. (See Matthew 4:18-20; Luke 5:11 27-28; Mark 1:19-20; Luke 18:22-23; Luke 9:59-60.)

I have now come to the realization that maybe this is about much more than being asked to leave my cell phone behind or not talk to my family during the retreat. After all, isn't that what a retreat is? To retreat. To leave behind, to move back, to withdraw, a quiet and secluded place to rest and relax. 

Our society is so very connected to everything. Not only have we learned to be near our devices constantly or nearly constantly, we are expected to. I think that God is always calling us to be less connected to the world and more connected to Him. Practicing detachment is HARD. In the Fall I felt God's soft and gentle call to detach from Facebook and Instagram. It was hard and at times still is. It may not be forever and I may prayerfully decide to connect with friends and family through those means again someday, but it has been a wonderful separation in many ways. It's freeing to not know what everyone is thinking, feeling, and doing. It's edifying to not be comparing my life with the lives of others so easily by putting the lives of others before my eyes so often of the time. It's rejuvenating to not have something I feel drawn to check constantly throughout the day. It's nice being private and just living my life not for anyone but God, my family, and myself. Now maybe God is bringing this detachment thing a little further. I didn't think it would be hard for me to give up my phone...but then again it is for 3 whole nights. So maybe I'm learning that's where I'm inclined to draw the line. But I don't want to ever draw the line with God. I don't want to hold back with God or be willing to only give up things for Him conditionally. WE ARE TO LIVE OUR LIVES IN COMPLETE ABANDON FOR CHRIST! A dear and wise priest I know often says this. Complete Abandonment. We go ALL IN. We JUMP SHIP. We LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND. 

I don't want to be one that says "Amen!" in agreement to these things and then when God says "Great, glad to hear it because...

~I want you to quit your job for another of lesser pay

~I want you to stop using contraception and be an advocate of life

~I am allowing you/a loved one to suffer illness and pain

~I want you to stop watching those movies/TV shows that mock and ridicule My Truth

~I am giving you a special needs child
~I am not giving you children
~I want you to leave your cell phone behind for a few days 
and to do so and accept these things obediently and joyfully for My names sake."

I completely realize the last one there is pretty pathetic in comparison to the other examples...but you get the point. This is a good question to ask ourselves and even our Lord: Where am I tempted to draw the line and back away, becoming resentful and angry that I would be asked to do such a thing/carry such a burden? 

So I'm asked to detach from my phone for a few days. That will most likely be a very good thing. Distraction is a key tool of Satan's to deter us from The Lords calling. It can often be very successful, but we have the choice to not let it be. Turning off our devices and retreating to God, even in our homes for a few minutes, is sure to be a good thing. Every time I do so God is faithful in meeting with me (James 4:8).

In reality, all this upset almost had me forgetting what a gift and blessing this retreat truly is. It's not often that I'll be able to do this kind of retreat, especially with the demands and responsibilities that come with raising young children. And that's OK, but when God does give me the opportunity, I want to be fully present and receive the gift joyfully and open to whatever God speaks to me while there. I think because it is such a rare occurrence and opportunity during this stage in life is even more reason to truly enjoy it. What a gift that my husband has the week off and can take full command on the home front! That he's even willing to use his time off in that way is a huge gift (AND during March Madness! I mean, seriously, he's SO selfless!). What a gift...normally a few minutes of peace and quiet is a rarity with young children running around (though their "noise" is beautiful in it's own way), but here I am getting an opportunity for DAYS of peace and quiet and time with my first love. Recently Jason and I were blessed with a getaway weekend while his parents watched the girls. We had 2 nights together away and it was SO rejuvenating and refreshing for our marriage! We do try and make time for date nights pretty often which is super important but it is different when you get an extended period of time without distraction to focus on one another and on God together. If that's so important for our marriage, how much more so with our relationship with God?! Again, such a huge gift! It's pretty silly that I could have missed out on that gift with something as petty as being asked to leave my phone home. It's actually quite refreshing that these woman care so much about my time with The Lord that they would go to such lengths to guard it. It is a sacred and holy thing when we spend time seeking God and Him seeking us. It should be guarded at all costs. We should give ourselves in complete abandonment for Him and His Truth. Go all in. Jump Ship. Leave it all behind to follow Jesus.